(((((((((((((DRAMA QUEEN ALERT)))))))))))))
I'd like to die in a tidal wave of fresh flowers, tropical fruit, homemade lasagne and soup, love, cake, tea, prayers, thoughts, kindness, friendship, family, hugs, tears and laughter.
That's where I am right now and it feels good. Overwhelming but really special and good.
I've been out of the old bloggeroo circle for a bit cause I have had a thing going on which has been kind of a big deal.
And while I have thought many times about blog posts over the past few weeks, I have felt that it would be dishonest and superficial to not blog about the big deal but I wasn't really ready to blog about it yet.
You keeping up?
Some of you already know that the big deal is Cancer.
Breast cancer.
Me.
My breast.
Well, my partial breast now.
If you're unlucky enough to have ridden the Cancer Fun Bus before, you will know that it travels pretty bloody quickly and the time between testing, diagnosis and the kind hand of the surgeon can be like the blink of an eye - a week or so for me.
I have been, to this point, incredibly lucky.
I have the kind of breast cancer which is like a tiny little, hard, green tomato still on the bush. It could have been different. My specialist told me that my symptoms (I wont gross you out) would go away of their own accord and I should check back with him in six months.
Remember that Cancer Fun Bus I told you about?
Yeah, the reason it travels so quick is because the evil, bloody eyed, bastard which is Cancer can travel like lightning.
I have decided not to dwell on the what-if's but in six months time lets just say that my tiny little, hard, green tomato may have grown, ripened and splattered its manky seed all over my garden bed.
The word LUCKY doesn't even do justice to what I am right now.
So, since I last blogged, I have had the dreggy diagnosis and the initial part of the treatment: surgery.
Let me tell you this. No matter how you feel about your breasts, you will feel a whole lot more attached to them when the surgeon tells you significant parts of them will be fodder for the incinerator.
I'm not a particularly vain person.
I never entered any wet t shirt contests (bloody should've, but.)
I never even flashed them about (excepting the odd low cut top)
Really, only a very few people have even see them to confirm their existence.....
So, you know my public life isnt that different really.
BUT THEY'RE MY BOOBS!!!
Y'know?
I kept my children alive with them for 26 months!!!
(insert joke about ten years of marriage) **see foot note
So, Ive had to give up a slice of my right breast to potentially save my life.
No big deal. (As a wise friend of mine said to me "CUT. THEM. OFF!!!!")
And I would.
I will.
If I have to.
Lots and lots of women have and will continue to do so, cause thats where we're at with breast cancer. And all cancers actually. Chopping off body parts. Amazing isnt it. One day we will look back and this will seem barbaric but at the moment, its the best we've got.
There you go, my blog family. That's my news. It's out.
I am awaiting results this week so either you'll hear from me not at all or I'll bore you to death trying to keep busy and hoping that my phone doesn't ring any time before Im due to see the surgeon, cause you know an early call-back is a BAD call-back.
Next step is six weeks of Radiation Therapy if the results from surgery are good.
If they're not good, well lets just say this blog might change name to 'A Heart Full of FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!'
Love to you all. XX
**Notice I didn't make any husband/boob jokes.
My husband has been a solid rock of awesome knight in shining armour through this. And out of respect to him I have omitted all boob man references to leave him alone in his changed world.
I chose to blog to y'all, he didnt. X
