The lesson Miss 7 taught me this week

I had a massive wake up call this last few days.

I was stopped in my tracks and I forgot to breathe.

I realized as I looked into my daughters eyes, that she thought that I was cool.

It was both exhilirating and profound.
It was a moment I will never forget because I will always remember the moment my baby girl stopped being a baby girl and started being a woman in the making.

I am flawed daily by the wonder that is my Miss 7.
She is the single most perfect thing I have ever known.
(Dont get me wrong there she aint perfect but she is perfection..... y'know?)

The thing that struck me this time was that I want her to be amazing and happy and successful and kind and good and I want her to have wonderful influences........
And who is it that she looks at daily and learns from and models herself on and measures others against?

Holy snapping duck shit.......... its me.

I am the role model for this magnificent little girl.
I am the bar for her.
(Not that kind of bar - the bar that is set.)

We have started to play netball, she and I.
I am loving it for the social and fitness aspects, she is too.

But it is the first time she has seen me taking on a persuit that is purely selfish.
Not domestic, or for the good of my family or household. Just Me.
Goal Shooter.
Christine. Not Mum.

And she thinks its deadly.

We were watching a talent show on telly tonight and there was this extraordinary 44 year old mother who was pole dancing like an international gymnast.
And Miss 7 turns to me and says "You should do that Mum."

AS IF!!!

But the point was that she really thought I could... she thought I might.

She believes in me and she thinks I am great and that I can do anything.

(She knows I cant always remember my keys but, y'know....)

She has seen me slide down the hideous slippery slope of chemo and she is seeing me climb back up.

Her clear blue eyes staring at me saying "why not"??? are all I need to remember and it makes me want to be better.

I really want her to be proud of me. I want her to think I am cool like I have never wanted anyone to think that ever....

So I feel affirmed of something I felt the day she was born.... that she would make me the best I can be.

Thanks baby girl. xxx