I've discovered the secret to what makes me a great Mum.

It's the holy grail I've been chasing.
It might even be the holy grail you've been chasing.

Call me psychic, but I would place bets that you're not sitting there thinking about what an awesome mum you are. You're wondering what you could do better. You're wondering how your family could function better. Be more like you'd imagined. Happier. More satisfied.....

There's a multi million dollar "You're a shit Mum and here's what you need to BUY to fix it" industry hinging on all the paranoia and anxiety built into our DNA from the moment you pee on that little white stick.

(This industry is closely related to the same industry that keeps you constantly wondering why you're not thin enough, your bum's not perky enough and your teeth aren't white enough, by the way.....)

But I digress.

Where was I?
Oh yes the Holy Grail......

So, its been a journey..... god I hate that word.
It's been a series of events over a period of time.

Mostly this enigma has been evolving without my noticing.
Like all the best enigmas I guess.
But recently I felt moments of clarity when I was getting it right.
And I started to draw correlations about what was lighting this little fire I could feel warming my Mummy heart.

Know what I realized is helping me be a good Mum?
Happier.
More focussed.
More patient.
More balanced.
More confident.
Less anxious.
Less self deprecating.

The answer is:
All the things I do that AREN'T about being a Mum.

Seriously.
All the stuff I do that are about me being Christine, make me a much better Mummy.

We've all heard the old advice "make time for yourself" but seriously, Its the only way.

I owe it to my kids to be selfish.

I am a person with interests and identities beyond lunch box lady, laundry manager and catering supervisor.

I am a student
I am politically motivated.
I am a netballer.
I am a netball coach.
I am a friend.
I am a voracious coffee consumer.
I am a yoga and Pilates enthusiast.
I am a flautist.
I am a book group member.
I am a daughter and a sister and a wife.

And all of those things are the icing on the Mummy cake that is Me.

The two are not separate. I am nothing if I'm not Mum to Miss 8 and Mr 4.
But for every other string to my bow, I am a nicer Mum.

And I feel like I'm setting a good example to my kids that I am more than their unpaid, albeit ever-loving staff member. I want them to see what else I can do.... hell I'm not inventing new methods of space travel or solving world hunger, but feeling like a Mummy who is sometimes peaceful and sometimes getting it right feels like just as much of a challenge some days.

We are not shit at this Mummy business, we just get coerced into believing that we're not quite adequate.

I'm calling B.S.

We are adequate. We are so much more than nappy changers. We are people, and people need passions and interests and connectedness.
Its a given that we're passionate about our kids.
But I wont feel bad about wanting to be more.
In fact I feel kind of awesome about it.