To conform or not to conform....



The word conformity has a bad connotation.

I think it harks back to the 60's when people were encouraged to rebel against righty politics, and Pink Floyd gave conformity a pretty bad wrap in The Wall when they likened going to school to brainwashing.

It became almost the same thing as servant. Or mindless minion.

But I'm not so sure.

The other day I had a fascinating conversation with a woman I admire greatly. I think its fair to describe her as a free-thinking liberal-minded lefty.

She takes no nonsense and is generally pretty rad.

I like to think I could be a bit like her when I grow up.

So the other day we fell into a conversation about school uniforms.
She had home schooled her kids through primary and then they went to a conventional public high school.

Turns out that she decided that her kids culture was not to wear school uniforms and so she sent them to school in home made knits with a note saying as much.

Suddenly, I felt very.... straighty 180.

I sort of...... like school uniforms.
And I sort of...... dislike unnecessary disharmony.
I wasn't there at the time so I can only assume that the kids were on board with this act of rebellion and so no harm was done to anyone.

So, there I am questioning if I am doing my kids harm by dressing them in their correct school uniform each morning all neat and tidy and telling they look very smart.

Oh. My. God!!
I've been brainwashed!!
We're working for the system!!
I'm squashing their creativity!!!
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried these ideas on.
But they didn't fit.

Call me crazy but I kind of think that kids need to learn how to conform.

We live in a conformist society.
We are individualistic in Australia and encouraged to think for ourselves but that's not the opposite to conforming is it?
I feel like we do both.

Don't we all conform when we drive on the left hand side of the road?
When we pay for groceries instead of just taking them?
When we go through security to board planes?
When we vote?
Pay taxes?
Wear clothes?

I like my kids to understand when and where stuff is appropriate.
Miss 8 spent the first few years of her life dressed in a swimsuit, gumboots, sunnies and a wooly hat.
No rules were broken, nobody got hurt and she felt terrific.

But now she's at a school that has a uniform, she wears that.
I don't know if she feels terrific per say but it isn't crushing her spirit either.
I kind of want them to learn what something IS so they can then decide what it isn't.
Conforming at this age is just an education.

I'd be doing my kids an injustice to say that the clothes they wear are shaping their minds and spirits.
Or that wearing a uniform is curbing their creativity.

What they are learning is how the world works.
I encourage them to think critically when issues are debatable (well it is my job to guide and teach them at this age) but I also want them to be respectful.
I put it out there, that at this young age, it is appropriate that they learn how to conform.

Thinking conformists....

Pushing boundaries and thinking outside the square are concepts to be absolutely encouraged in this wonderful free life we live. But not when you're five.

If listening when someone else is speaking, following rules and using manners is conforming, then sign me up.
And my kids.