Bye bye baby.....

 



So, my baby sister left today.

She got on a plane with a backpack and a one way ticket and tootled off to Europe.

I'm really going to miss her, she's been living near me for the last few months, working her butt off slaving over a hot grill to save to leave for the exotic delights overseas and the date just crept up so suddenly, and now she just logged off for take off.

Just the same as I did 15 years ago.
With a back pack and a one way ticket, a camera with film, a hotmail account and what felt like a small fortune in hard earned dollars in the bank, off I went travelling solo. I had a two year visa, I told my mum I'd be back in 6 months and I was gone for nine years.

Ok, I lied, sorry mum.

Those were the days my friends, I look back now and I cant believe my youthful bravery. So young, hopeful and confident. The world at my feet.

She will have a lifetime of memories from these adventures. I am so excited for her as her departure brings it all back to me now.

She's smarter and a bit older than I was, and I'm betting that she wont come home with a husband and two babies, but its the vibe.

Travel is such an incredible gift, T,D&H and I were just talking the other day about how we're a bit behind with where you'd expect a late 30s couple to be at. We just bought our first home a couple of years ago for example. But we agreed without hesitation that we wouldnt change a thing. Those hedonistic days of international exploration are part of our little family's tapestry. We came back to Australia without a penny, but there is no price we could put on the way things unfolded for us.

So off she goes with her seat reclined and a little plastic tumbler of house chardy in hand and she really has no idea the delights that await, not just in her immediate future but the memories she'll dine out on for the rest of her days.

Bye bye baby!!

Miss 8's first best friend

 



I havent written a blog for a while so this probably seems kind of random.
But, hey, thats me I guess.

So I was just listening to Eric Clapton's unplugged album this morning, the guy on the radio said it came out 20 yeras ago!! WTF!?

My sis and I gave it to my mum for mothers day - must have been 20 years ago and we Played. It. To Death.
I absolutely adore it and I still rock out to it all the time.... remember Tears in Heaven? Well there's loads of other great tracks on it too......

So anyhoo.... my mum keeps cropping up all over the place lately. Its Miss 8's birthday this week and her birthday will forever be just a little tainted for me cause Mum held on just long enough to see her turn 5, four years ago.
I like to spend some time thinking about that a bit before my girl's birthday so my grief isnt too close to the surface on her big day.
Hence this post.

I really miss my mum, of course I do. But the thing that really guts me is how much she adored Niamh when she was born. I really think besides my sister and me, her Granddaughter was the greatest thing that ever happened to her. She was so damn in love with my girl when she was born, she just glowed.

She had big plans for the two of them. The movies, the shows, the sleep overs, the cafes, the ballets, the shopping, the holidays....

My girl will never really know how her biggest fan felt about her. She was utterly adored by her Omah.
Mum would have been her greatest champion for her whole life.

As she grows bigger and more beautiful it just kills to me think about her missing out on that relationship. Its just so damn unfair.

Mum spoke about my girl turning 5, it was a big deal to her, she would be a big girl, and I really do think she held on to see her have that birthday. It was somehow really significant. The reason.... is another thing I'll never know.

I will keep telling Miss 8 about her very first best friend and hope with all my heart she remembers something about my mum. It was a relationship quite like no other. I hope if she is having any tears in heaven they're because she's so proud of my girl. I know she would be if she were still here.



My Dinner Rules

So, as you may have gathered from a few posts so far this year, I am changing up a few things in my world.
I like to share them with you.
Some are silly little adjustments to things that bug me, and some are big t'ings, that I hope will improve the shape of our little family longer term.

One of the big ones so far has been this dining table.
It belongs to my Nanny.
It has been a part of my childhood memories for my whole life and I really feel that a dining tabel so often is where the memories are made and the stories unfold.

So..... we pretty much, up to the arrival of this table, ate like gypsies.
We had big day beds and a huge coffee table in our sunroom, as well as a small dining table which I use as a study desk. Also a couch/kid stool/coffee table situation in the lounge room and a bench/stool sitch in the kitchen. And an outdoor table on the deck. Plenty of options.

When we got the table, I was so excited at the grown-upedness of it.

But what I learned in the first few nights was that it aint all about the dinner parties.

Oh no.

What I noticed was that there were so many skills attatched to eating at a didning table that quite frankly, for all the attributes of our socially well-adjusted children, they sucked big time at good old fashioned family tea time.

1. Their cutlery skills were appalling. Miss 8, not too bad, Mr 6 ate like a cat with chopsticks.
2. The Give-Way rule of dinner conversation had been failed dissmally by our family O'four. Car. Crash.
3. The sit the hell down and dont get up rule of fairytale dinner times was a pipe dream of other worldliness.
4. The dont eat too fast/too slow and wait til everyone is finished ideal were UNHEARD OF.

I am stoked that a few weeks down the track, we are eating like more accomplished cats, with a pre set tabel requiring less jack in the box action, less car crash conversation and an unspoken, agreed upon pace of consumption.

In fact, the stuff of my imagination for family dinners around a dining table with chatter and manners and the creating of lovely memories, is slowly and wonderously unfolding.

 

Taking out the rubbish



So, as I've said before, I don't do New Year's resolutions, but I have made something of an effort in the Housekeeping department.
Not HOUSE keeping as in sweeping and bed making, housekeeping as in my actions which directly relate to how I operate and ultimately feel.

Difference between this and New Years Resolutions being that there's no pattern of unrealistic promise making, trying something for a while, getting distracted and ending up disappointed with myself by the first week of February.

I'm taking out the rubbish.
De-cluttering.
Tidying up a bit.
Here's how......

1. I unfollowed all the Facebook pages that mad me feel inadequate, underachieving or anxious. Sometimes you start following a great page because you feel inspired by the content and you connect with the writer/writers. Then one day you feel anxious because what they're presenting is so damn soft-focussed and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, you feel ansty and a little bit angry..... you might even roll your eyes. I realized, it's not me, it's you.
I look at my Facebook news feed pretty regularly, so I need to be amused by it, not depressed by it.
Unfollow.

2. I stopped reading helpful articles and pages and magazines that keep telling me I need to buy stuff to be happier or more organized. BS. The way I see it I need less stuff, not more.
Be gone.

3. I left my two on-line cancer support groups. There is a normal rate in life at which bad things happen. Ditto things that break your heart, ditto things that are unfair, and unjust. When you belong to a cancer support group with 700 members, the rate of devastation is much higher than the regular amount we are meant to endure to remain mentally healthy. I felt that the support I was able to offer the other members, the daily heart-break and the path I'm on now, just didn't marry up. So I took my training wheels off and I left the two groups. Going it alone, when I was used to the contact with these people almost daily was daunting, but honestly, I haven't looked back. It just wasn't for me anymore. There are people in my life I am sharing the breast cancer experience with but they are real flesh and blood and I care very much for them. I cant be on that trip with 700 people it's just too heavy.

4. You know those undies? The ones that you hate so bad but you never realize you're wearing them til its too late to change, and you spend the whole day yanking, tugging, adjusting reefing and swearing at them. Chuck 'em out. Its an act of self love. Cause you know what happens, you'll put them in the wash, put them in your drawer and before you know it, you're spending the day in the fuckers again. Get Rid. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I already feel lighter and more carefree since I banished all the crappy old knickers in my life.

5. I stopped reading anything that has the word "Organized" in the title. And as it turns out, I'm actually not as tragic as I was starting to believe.

That's my advice, take out the rubbish.
Much love. xxx