Time Saving Tips for a more Effcient Home... ;)

1. You don't need to waste time screwing the lid on the milk bottle, simply balance the lid on top and issue a hard downward motion blow.

2.  Mop your floors fortnightly: thats half as much time spent compared to mopping weekly!

3. Source a husband who doesn't give a fig if his shirts are ironed or not.

4. Problem: unsightly, messy kitchen cupboards? Solution: shut the doors. That's what they're for after all!

5. Don't waste precious time looking for that illusive hair brush, just brush your daughter's hair with a plastic fork - my husband ACTUALLY did this.

6. Save time for your kids, your husband and your dog by not bothering to close the door when you're having a bit of quiet on the toilet.

7. To save shoe leather, make your first glass of wine a LARGE.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!

Different Strokes (of the feather duster....)

So I found this blog today, called 'The Organized Housewife'.
Can you see my face?

Reading it was like a train crash, I just couldn't look away. I was at once fascinated and repulsed. Its like a freak show. And I say that, not because I think the writer is a freak, but because it just takes a concept I already find overwhelming and puts a whole new high-speed, foreign language spin on it. I felt like I was in the trading room on Wall St, and all the traders were actually housewives screaming and signalling about cupboard organization and pantry labeling and decluttering detail.... Did I miss something? A class? A lecture? An information pamphlet? 

Seriously, I readily admit, these are skills and talents, but I just cant. Or don't. Or wont? Its not like it could be genetic, my mum was the tidiest, most organized woman you ever met. I actually - all kidding aside - long to be organized. Tidy. House Proud. Prepared. I think this Organized Housewife creature is a genius. My only jibe, if I had to have one (and I do) would be that she keeps cake packet mix's "for emergencies".... I'm sorry, but in my world a cake emergency is not an emergency. But that's why I'm not an Organized Housewife I guess...

Maybe it just takes the pressure off , you know, no one turn up to my place and expects a freshly baked cake. They will get conversation, hugs, tissues, advice, friendship, laughs and plenty of tea, but hardly ever cake, packet mix, or otherwise. Being out of control all the time is being consistent - I'm maintaining a constantly low standard of chaos, or should that be high standard of chaos?

My kids were telling my husband the other day that on Friday's we always seem to get to school on time and have a relaxed kind of vibe in the mornings, to which husband replied "that's cause by Friday, Mummy has the hang of the week".... So I guess my family don't know any different, they just know me. And my heart full of chaos. Poor buggers. They will never know a Mum who can match up socks, file the rubbish or frame every drawing the kids scribble for the family room gallery.

Guilty admission: I tidied up my plastics cupboard this afternoon. Then I turned my attention to the pantry and after surveying the eight half-packets of pasta, I suddenly had a thought: I'm bored but I'm not that bored....

The Ten Year Marathon

So as I stand here on my tenth wedding anniversary, I think back to the young, naive 24 year old bride, and know with absolute certainty that she was so completely uncertain about ever making it to the ten year mark. Not because I doubted my husband or the marriage, purely because the chances of making it work and not ending in disaster are a harsh reality. We were so young and spontaneous, but we knew we had to try, just in case it might just happen turn out to be what we thought it might be...

We were living in London in a big rambling house with a bunch of fabulous young travellers and we were living the life of Riley. We have such incredible memories from those days. We had a gorgeous, simple celebration on the Thames and as the cliche goes, it was the happiest day of my life.

Apparently we had a 64% chance of remaining married for ten years. That dropped to 34% when we had children. I think my husband and I will confirm these stats seem fair and accurate.

Three of our good friends are tying the knot this month, and my wish for you all is that you roll up those statistics and smoke 'em. Our love and very best wishes to you, I look forward to the conversations we have on your tenth and out TWENTIETH anniversaries!

My overwhelming feeling springing from this anniversary? Pride.
I am so proud of the journey we have taken so far, the friendship we have built, the family we have produced, the odds we have overcome, the great times, the rough times and the couple we are today. Strong and together. It wasn't easy. In-fact, I would liken ten years of marriage to completing a marathon with both legs tied behind your back. But with your best friend by your side.

I know that those who have been together for 25 or 30 years will say, oh, ten years is just the beginning... and I hope it is.

Felling very proud of us, love you babe. x x x x

The things you do for your Kids...

My cousin (childless at the time) once asked me "What is it with the hundreds of people queuing up for hours in the sun to go on the Ferris wheel?

"They all have kids" I pointed out, "they're doing it for the kids."
"What? But why? They're all insane!" she said.

And I found it really hard to explain, because I could totally see her point, but I had many time been one of those insane morons in the queue.
Honestly, the lengths you'll go to to make little Timmy laugh or pee his pants with excitement is daft isn't it? But its this mad gene that lays dormant until you have kids...

Some people (not me, but some people) take whole holidays centred around their little darlings. They queue up for fairy floss and face painting and even the CIRCUS!
Public pools - would you be there without the kids? Nope.
How about a mega spinning hurricane ride just for fun? Not on your life.

So what are we thinking the whole time we're doing these mad things? We're not thinking anything.
We're watching their little faces light up and holding their little sick bags, and taking turns at lining up in 40 degree heat to get the prize!!
Because its Nature's way of forcing us into make awesome memory's for our children.
Hell, we even go to cafe's with really bad coffee because they have great toys there! Thats the kind of weirdness I am taking about. Inflicted selflessness.

Well its book week at school, and my little princess, Miss 6, wants to be Alice.
You know the hardest characters are the ones with very distinctive uniforms. Have you ever seen Alice change outfits? NEVER. So, a blue dress in a very specific shade, white apron, bow, tights and black shoes it is. Right then.....

Remember that gene I was talking about??
So my task today is to get out my sew-y thing and the skirty bits and go waaaaaaaay beyond my skill set, to make my baby feel special and beautiful for the book parade tomorrow.
And I know that child-pleasing gene has kicked in cause I am really looking forward to finishing it  and seeing her try it on.
And, lets face it, probably fall in to floods of giant Alice sized tears because 'Its Not Riiiiiiiight!!!!!!!"
sigh

Spending time with Mr 3

So I spent the day with my three year old son today.
That's nothing new in itself, after all I am a stay at home mum (SAHM if youre into wanky talk).
But since I have started my life-style makeover (thats better than midlife crisis, dont you think?), I thought I would come at my son-time from a different angle too...

We were driving back from dropping my daughter at school, and I realized what a completely gorgeous day it was, I was scheduled to go to the gym, but, well, um, I didnt. So the boy and I packed a morning tea and drove a pretty long distance to his favourite park. If you know me well, you will understand that, it being magpie swooping season, I really meant business, we were going to have fun damn it!
Now, I take the kids to the park a few times a week, and lets face it, kids like it but its fairly... under-stimulating if your kids just bolt off and play together, which mine do. Today, I decided to really get in and focus on what Mr 3 wanted to do, and we had the Best Time. I watched him climb with all the confidence of his alter-ego Spider Man, we played chase, hide and seek and I pushed him on the swing about six million times... and it was FUN! Why was it different today? Because I was mindful of where I was and what I was doing. I didnt look at my watch, or phone, I didnt think about housework or reading my book, or having a nap... I dont know if the grass was greener over there, cause I didnt bother to look around.
I know that I am not the only one, so lets be brutally honest, three year old boys who talk tirelessly all day long, mostly about super hero's, blowing things up and smashing things til they're dead, are pretty boring. Yes I said it, they are eye wateringly tiresome more than half of the time. Anyone who isnt a Stay at Home Mum, or isnt one any more, will find that shocking, and bad-motherly. But its bloody true. Having said that, I have to tell you what I learned from my exercise this morning: my son is so funny, so charming, so fearless, so imaginative and such good company; all I had to do to see it was get down to his level and just enjoy him. You can get too much of a good thing being a Stay At Home Mum, sometimes you forget to stop and smell the preschooler.

I know I am blessed to be able to stay at home, sure we go without some stuff having only one income, and my husband has never tried to force me back to work. In-fact if I think back real far and squint my eyes, I think this is actually what I wanted. I have made a mental note to stop when Mr 3 is shitting me, and get down to his level, and rediscover our fun selves. He probably spends his quiet times thinking what an irritating bore I am with my constant cleaning, running errands, moaning and cooking, but today, I have been the very embodiment of a Fun Mum. We washed the car together when we got home, which was really enjoyable too, but after 20 minutes of playing 'trains', I had to draw the line and retire Fun Mum, because no matter how hard I might try, playing 'trains' makes hanging the washing seem like Carnivale....

Renovation segment

We love a spot of renovation and restoration 'round here. Well, I do and hubby good-naturedly gets on board with most projects. This is one of our best. It is an old family dining table we overhauled by painstakingly removing all the dark shellac and sanding it back to the beautiful blonde hoop pine colour. I wont show you how it looks now, 8 months on, suffice to say, it is being very well loved and is showing the scars.

A Heart Full of Chaos: Stuff is Nonsense

A Heart Full of Chaos: Stuff is Nonsense: I really got to a desperate place this week (and, let's face it, every week) with housework and the general state of tidiness within my home...

Stuff is Nonsense

I really got to a desperate place this week (and, let's face it, every week) with housework and the general state of tidiness within my home.

So, did I get stuck in to the hoovering, mopping, washing, dusting, tidying and folding?
Nup, I sat down to read up on how a Buddhist would deal with this chaos. Yes, I'll admit I was hoping to discover some ancient, deeply spiritual method to keeping tidy besides the conventional practical one which, frankly bores the pants off me.

The first thing I read were the four pillars or Noble Truths of Buddhism: if you dont already know, they are four different versions of suffering. Hang on, I thought, I'm on to something here, and I read on...
The whole idea is to view the world as it really is. Yes, I can see the mess in the kitchen for what it is, Check.
Buddhists dont deny the concept of pleasure, but acknowledge it as fleeting. Oh, right, like the 30 seconds the house stays tidy after I've cleaned it! Check.
The same logic belies the understanding of happiness: that only ageing, sickness and death are certainties in the end. YES! That's how I feel about that huge pile of washing: old, sick and like dying!

I'll paraphrase what I learned about Buddhism and Karma: bad actions bring about unhappiness.
I think I've cracked it... housework makes me sad so it MUST be a bad action!
Neutral actions such as sleeping, eating and breathing have no karmic benefit or cost - that sounds the safest doesn't it? 

To cross over spiritual genres for a minute: I hear alot that in Feng Shui, the belief is that one cannot have clear thoughts and energy in amongst clutter. Aint that the truth. Back to our buddhist friends:
Let us say that a Buddhist monk is our best example of someone who never trips over wet towels, injure his feet on lego, or run out of clean tea cups. Why? Because he doesnt have any superfluous crap lying around! He doesnt have piles of stuff or loads of junk! In fact, he doesn't have any crap, stuff or junk at all!

So, if I am to become the embodiment of a Zen Mumma as well as not have to tidy up so much, I need alot less stuff. Well, my husband and kids do. All of my belongings are meager and vital - obviously.
Thanks Buddha! A jolly good clear up and chuck-out is what's in order. I'll get right to it. I just feel I should show my appreciation with an hour of yoga and meditation, and a karma-neutral cup of tea first.

Being a "Writer"

I was reading up this morning on the finer points of being a writer. One of the first things I read was "We must write from Love...."
Oh for shit's sake, I thought.
But then I read on: "...the Love of naming our experiences."
Oh, I thought, cool, I love analyzing the hell out of things. Sweet, I'm half way there! This writing caper's not so hard!

The awesome, hilarious and now dead writer David Rakoff said that some days his computer sat on his desk gagging and gasping like a child dying from an infection, and just couldn't motivate himself to administer the anti-biotic. Now, I realize how morose that sounds, but I think was talking about writers block. I am pleased to report that five days into my diary bloggy thingy, I think I am suffering more from diarrhea than constipation. I am finding it very therapeutic to jot down some of the chaos in my head. I always thought bloggy people were very self-indulgent thinking that folk would want to read their spurtings. And while I still think that, I dont minding admitting I love reading them, and now, I love writing one.

Hey! have I found a new purpose?????
No, its not really purposeful to anyone but me is it?
And the big question, who AM I anyway?
Naaaah, just kidding.
Laters. x x x

An Idea

Thinking about a warts n all, straight from the heart account of a day in the life of a woman turned mother with a heart full of love and a head full of FAAAAAARK!!!!!!!
It could even include my secret weapon for survival in moment when I might otherwise throw an appliance.... hmmmmm...

The amazing Leigh Viner - so talented

Well, one should look after one's self...

Looking for Inspiration

Since I decided to do something about my early mid-life crisis, I have noticed that the more I look around me to find what it is that inspires me, the more inspiration I can see.

It's like I had my head in the proverbial sand (geez doesn't that sound relaxing - a quiet minute in the sand, sigh) and I couldn't see all the amazing things going on that totally make you think, 'Wow, thats amazing'!

 My beautiful sister and I went to see a show on Saturday night. Not just any show mind you, Chorus Line. I know, can you believe it??!! I nearly wet myself, I was so excited. You see, we grew up watching the movie, and I kid you not, we can quote every single word in every single scene, bar none. At one point in the live show, one of the characters said the word "all" instead of the word "oh".... and my sister and I gasped audibly, wide eyed. So you get the idea how well we know this show. Anyway I'll get to the point. In the show, there is a song "What I did for Love" and its all about these dancers who are unemployed, and desperate to get a part in a new show. They basically talk about how they cant imagine doing anything else even though they rarely have work or money and just keep at it because it defines everything they are passionate about. They dance because that's what really rings their bell. You see where I'm going with this?

Whats really ringing my bell is the idea that people get up and make their dreams happen. I am looking right at the very people who are getting up on various mornings and deciding to walk the walk, get stuff done. Starting the training required to become a yoga teacher, grabbing a partner and opening a real life salon, doing work for free until they get recognized and paid real money. These are people who are doing it for love. I cant explain how inspiring I find that. Real people doing real cool things. I heard an old hippy say today, "sometimes you can't put it in the bank, you have to bank it in your heart."

Well, obviously he was stoned, but we all dream of making a living doing something that doesn't feel like real work, or that we know is making a real difference. Can I grow up to be one of those people? Shit, I hope so.

Sunday night dinner

How hard is it to be bothered on Sunday nights?!
I know the Sunday roast is traditional, but if I was running a traditional household, I wouldn't be so bloody chaotic would I?
Its 6pm and I still am not sure what we are having for dinner.... that's bad isn't it?

My plan was:
Crumbed fish, mashed potatoes and vegetables for the kids
Lamb neck stew in slow cooker for the old boy
Tuna salad for me

Whats actually coming our of the kitchen tonight:
Pasta with vegetable sauce from the freezer for kids
Pesto pasta for the old boy
An orange for me

There we are, that's the menu planning segment of the day done. Tick.
By the way, yes I really do cook three different meals a night.... I know, I know....

Top 10 pieces of advice I have been given

1. If you dont laugh, you cry. (my sister Kate)

2. Red wine gets rid of the headache cause by too much coffee. (my sister Anna)

3. Just be Chris. (my Mum)

4. Say "Goodbye and I love you" to your husband in the birthing suite, and you can say "hello old friend" in about five years time. (no one actually said this to me but they f*#ing should have!)

5. If you do your washing on a cold, 15 minute express wash and the washing powder doesnt go in, you cant really call that clean, and probably you should do it again. (my sister Kate)

6. Have loads of sex. (wedding day advice from a family member who shall remain nameless)

7. Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy? (Dr. Phil - shut up, I love Dr Phil!)

8. Dont forget to Breathe! (best labour advice ever from my friend Gail A)

9. I'm not sure making your own wedding cake is a very good idea, Chris. You dont know how to bake and you dont have any time.... (right again Mum!)

10. If you build it, he will come..... oh no wait.....

A Heart Full of Gratitude

So I've woken up this morning feeling a little bit soppy.

My little fella crawled into bed with me this morning (at a reasonable hour) and I had a moment where I thought, geez I'm lucky. So lucky to be squashed in amongst snoring, slightly overheated bodies with not quite enough blanket. Then I realised its Saturday! Yay! Then my little fella started to winge at me to get up RIGHT NOW and get him some warm Milo NOOOOOW and my bubble burst a little bit....

But I digress.

Of course we all feel a little bit full of love when you wake up and its sunny, and its Saturday, but thats not what has me counting blessings this morning. Last night I had a rare and wonderful night with The Girls. These nights don't happen often enough any more, that just comes with the Motherhood territory as you probably know. The gathering of five beautiful friends started, as is often the case, with a little war-weary sighing about the week, there had obviously been some tears, some ups and some downs going on since our last get together. The range of topics we get to cover in these rare gatherings would truly astound standers by, we can fling from sandwich fillings, to Cesarian scars and back to soccer and sex before the first glass of bubbly is down the hatch. (Soccer and sex NOT being in the same conversation.) After about three hours of non-stop, overlapping chin wagging and glass draining, I stood back and thought Shit. I'm lucky. So lucky to have friends that feel like family. When you can start a sentence with "would you be worried if...?", "do you think its weird that..." and know that your deepest worries and life dramas can be wrapped, stamped and posted while your glass is being refilled and all of a sudden you feel better, you know you have friends as family. See? Lucky.

Then it got me thinking of all the amazing friends who are so far away, and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I felt grateful that no matter how long it goes sometimes, you can still flick off a quick "you rock, girlfriend" text and they are back in your heart and in your thoughts. See, I told you - soppy.

So you see, bucketful's of laughter and champers have me feeling pretty Saturday-ish this morning, I am even grateful for the sinkful of dishes, cause it represents the food we ate last night, which, however lower-deck (fish fingers!), remind me of what we have when others go hungry. See? grateful. And maybe still a little tipsy......! ;)

Its an awesome day to have an awesome day!!! Ok, now i may have gone too far....

This is me! (but not in trakkies)

Junction Town, no trains in sight....

I was thinking about starting a blog called "Completely Bored out of my Skull", but then I thought that might sound a little bit negative.

You see, I'm at a junction in my life, I know I'm not alone, there are plenty of us here (hello girls!). We've had out baby's and made grand declarations that the shop is shut and there will be no more. Said baby's have started school and preschool and we FINALLY have the longed-for time off we have angst-ed for. Long days of luxurious quiet: massages, afternoon naps, a spotless house, hobbies, perhaps a lovely little part-time job, a knock-out figure from diligently attending gym....

Well I dont know if its just too much of a good thing, but, all of the above has gotten a bit boring really. And I have never even had ONE massage. Or attained that dream figure. As for spotless and house going together.... AND the "day" that exists between school drop-off and pick-up isnt really even a DAY!!!

And Breathe......

So, the long and the short of it, I suppose, is I feel like I dont really have a purpose any more. I'm a bit of a shell. A shell with no brain. Its time for the next phase and and its pretty scary. Well for me it is anyway... plenty of women skate elegantly from breastfeeding to business ownership without chipping a nail. And plenty of others keep having more baby's and are endlessly gracious and fulfilled, and organized and non-chaotic, and well, grown up. I am not any of those women. There seems to be a fine line between grasping this amazing opportunity for a new start and really doing something meaningful; and applying for a shelf packing job at Bi-Lo. When all is said and done, Bi-Lo pays and I will meet people over the age of 6, and its better than sitting around moaning about being bored... right?

Dont get me wrong - dishes and washing and mopping and more dishes are all stimulating as hell, it just feels like it's time. For what? Dont ask stupid questions, I've got dishes to do.

Hello.... hello? testing testing.... welcome!