I havent written a blog for a while so this probably seems kind of random.
But, hey, thats me I guess.
So I was just listening to Eric Clapton's unplugged album this morning, the guy on the radio said it came out 20 yeras ago!! WTF!?
My sis and I gave it to my mum for mothers day - must have been 20 years ago and we Played. It. To Death.
I absolutely adore it and I still rock out to it all the time.... remember Tears in Heaven? Well there's loads of other great tracks on it too......
So anyhoo.... my mum keeps cropping up all over the place lately. Its Miss 8's birthday this week and her birthday will forever be just a little tainted for me cause Mum held on just long enough to see her turn 5, four years ago.
I like to spend some time thinking about that a bit before my girl's birthday so my grief isnt too close to the surface on her big day.
Hence this post.
I really miss my mum, of course I do. But the thing that really guts me is how much she adored Niamh when she was born. I really think besides my sister and me, her Granddaughter was the greatest thing that ever happened to her. She was so damn in love with my girl when she was born, she just glowed.
She had big plans for the two of them. The movies, the shows, the sleep overs, the cafes, the ballets, the shopping, the holidays....
My girl will never really know how her biggest fan felt about her. She was utterly adored by her Omah.
Mum would have been her greatest champion for her whole life.
As she grows bigger and more beautiful it just kills to me think about her missing out on that relationship. Its just so damn unfair.
Mum spoke about my girl turning 5, it was a big deal to her, she would be a big girl, and I really do think she held on to see her have that birthday. It was somehow really significant. The reason.... is another thing I'll never know.
I will keep telling Miss 8 about her very first best friend and hope with all my heart she remembers something about my mum. It was a relationship quite like no other. I hope if she is having any tears in heaven they're because she's so proud of my girl. I know she would be if she were still here.
